Beginning a new day, beginning a new life. Hope is still far away but I feel that it may be reachable for the first time in several years, actually my whole life. I don't ever ask for much but for some reason life doesn't seem to have much for me. I don't know who I am supposed to be, but I know who I am. Daughter, Mother, Sister, wife, ex-wife, former pill head, post Alcoholic. Yes I say post because I decided long ago to change myself, but I don't think I ever truly recovered. That I ever truly made it through the sea of bad decisions. Decisions that not only affect me but my family too. I started heavily drinking and taking pills very young but stopped upon becoming pregnant for the first time, but after the death of my daughter stopped all drug use before the birth of my son, but thats not to say I haven't had the urge to go back. That is why I have decided to change my life and my self. I am not telling anyone how they should live, eat, or work. I am just laying out the plan to change myself. Any decisions made after my blog that may affect your health should be discussed with your doctor the same as I have. I have decided to only eat healthy, that includes no more fast food or fried foods, I vow to do something for some one else everyday. Today I bought maternity clothes for my sister just because I wanted to. I will do a good deed for someone else, family or stranger that I would like someone to do for me. Third I will exercise more and not go back to any health wrecking behavior. Last I am determined to finish my novel making my self work atleast an hour on it everynight. I have set a deadline to start sending out query letters for the 30th of May no exceptions.
Sooo. Today I ate two bananas, 1/3 cup of strawberries, and a glass of milk, tonight will be homemade pasta salad with broccoli and carrots in low fat Italiann dressing. Very simple to make.And plenty of water.
I bought maternity clothing for my sister just to be nice, tomorrow I don't know yet. I might go help a friend clean her house.
I did an exercise video for half and hour. Not as much as I wanted to to but hey this is the beginning. A new beginning.
I am working on my novel, 30 minutes to go.
No negativity today!